Penguins Can’t Fly!?!
The Critic was Jon Lovitz at his best. Quotable, random, detailed, smart, layered, funny. While in college, I'd watch the back-to-back episodes of The Critic and The Tick every week, cracking up at the animated antics.
Unfortunately for me, I know almost no one else who watched these shows. I suppose the animation turned them off to experiencing comedic genius, which is really too bad. And, of course, I'd walk around using the genius one-liners and referencing jokes that no one else knew. I'm sure they thought I was crazy, but I don't really care -- it was funny for me.
One of the best jokes on the show involved Lovitz's character's adoptive father, an alcoholic millionaire who loved to get hammered and dress up as Baby New Year. (Hilarious already, no?) During a flight, the drunkard's plane started jumping around wildly so, fed up, he sprung to action. In a rule-breaking move that only the absurdly wealthy would think to attempt, Baby New Year burst into the cockpit, only to find a drunk penguin at the controls.
"A penguin. And you've been drinking! Wait a minute, penguins can't fly..."
So. Funny.
The Critic: Penguins Can't Fly
the penguin is probably the Dame Judy Dench of cartoon cameos. he’s in this episode for like 40 seconds total, and its probably the funniest thing i have ever seen. i’m sorry. i have a really weird sense of humor and an alcoholic penguin who cant fly a plane (where did he get those goggles? has he really bagged all those stewardesses? and most importantly, where did he get the idea to try to fly it from, the drinking?) is probably one of the funniest things in the entire world.
Ruining Reputations In The Northern Territory
Waitress Allyson White, 34
Amazing quotes in a story from the Northern Territory of Australia. We just don't get quotes like these here in the States. Also, the Humpty Doo is a great name for a town/tavern.
A WOMAN accused of performing a sexual act on a man when he crashed in Darwin's rural area is outraged at the allegation and says it is "absolutely wrong".
Allyson White said the standout burn mark left by her seatbelt across her chest was proof the claims of "amorous activities" with the driver were not true.
"I was not sucking his d*** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the mark on my chest," she said.
"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck.
"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone's d***' - but it is not true and that's what is p****** me off.
. . .
"I don't understand where that story has come from," she said.
"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.
"But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job."
. . .
She said they stopped into the Humpty Doo Tavern where she usually works to invite other friends, including the unnamed driver, along to the bash.
He did not know how to get to the house so she jumped in his car to give him directions.
"We are just friends and it's pissing me off as people think I have done this behind my boyfriend's back - it makes me feel like a dirty bitch when I've done nothing wrong."