If The Shoe-Thrower Were A SF Giant Pitcher
- Had Barry Zito thrown the shoe, it would have floated lightly toward W. Our President could finally have declared victory over something, as he'd have swung and crushed the shoe, launching it over the entire press corps. Still, most Iraqis would have said that Zito was such a nice guy that they appreciated the effort, even if he wasn't worth the big contract. Besides, Zito's still a lefty whose columns take up a vast swath of column-inches.
- Noah Lowry would have hurt himself.
- NL Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum wouldn't have been allowed in. Security would have thought he was one of the reporters' kids.*
- Jonathan Sanchez would have missed badly, high and outside.
- Matt Cain would have been dead-on with the first shoe, but another journalist would have stood up and gotten in the way. Unlucky. If he had time to throw his second shoe, though, it would have hit W square in the smacker.
* Had Lincecum somehow been let in, the first shoe thrown would have bored a hole in W's chest. That shoe, thrown with such extreme velocity, would have instantly cauterized the fatal wound. The Phenom would have used the second shoe to disarm and disable all of the Secret Service agents in the room, allowing him to escape.
Still, the rest of the Press Corps would be unable to follow through after Lincecum's super-human performance. They'd fail to score and would give up the game winning homer to Cheney with a fat pitch down the pipe in the top of the 8th.
#50 Will Fix The 49ers
Eyes. Intensity. Focus. Singletary.
Mike Singletary is the best. I loved him when he was the best linebacker in the NFL and the heart of the Bears' defense. He's been a great mentor and coach to Patrick Willis, the Niners' middle linebacker and a beast of a player.
This week, after Mike Nolan was fired as San Francisco's head coach, Nolan said the next coach needed to be Mike Singletary... and if Singletary said no, Nolan thought it was so important that he'd be willing to talk to the Hall of Famer.
After another mistake-ridden loss by for the once-great franchise, Coach Singletary spoke his mind at the post-game press conference. Honesty can be so refreshing.
And in case you missed it, yes, Singletary kicked his star second-year tight end, a top former top draft pick and a guy who was supposed to be a core member of the team for years to come, out of the game.
From Rotoworld:
Interim 49ers coach Mike Singletary confirmed in his post-game press conference Sunday that Vernon Davis was benched and sent to the locker room in Week 8 after committing an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.
"I will not tolerate players who think it is about them and not the team," the fired up coach said. "I'd rather play with 10 people...Rather than play with 11, when I know that right now, that person is not sold out to be part of the team. You can not play with them. You can not win with them. I want winners. I told him he'd do a better job for us right now taking a shower and coming back and watching the game." Singletary added that he'll "think about" whether Davis will keep his starting job during the Week 9 bye.