Burris and Kramer. Two men burned by their own desire.

An old high school friend (and fellow political junkie) posted on Facebook that he "couldn't believe the Senate really gave Roland Burris the Heisman (stiff arm, not the trophy)."

Senate officials this morning rejected Roland Burris's effort to be seated as the successor to President-elect Barack Obama, telling the former Illinois attorney general that he lacked the requisite approval of state officials to be sworn in with the rest of the class of 2008 in today's launch of the 111th Congress.

...

Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) and a bipartisan group of leaders have rejected Burris's appointment on the grounds that the criminal charges against Blagojevich, including one that he tried to sell the appointment in exchange for financial gain, make it impossible for him to pick a successor to Obama without tarnishing the decision.

The impression I got was that the party said -- in no uncertain terms -- that all Democrats were to cut the governor loose. We're talking a giant, neon Seinfeld-esque Kenny Rogers Roasters sign screaming STAY AWAY.

Still, Burris wanted the job, so took the shot while it was there... and got completely rejected. Swatted. Roofed. Denied.

That's what happens when you don't work within the team offense -- the boss says you're not professional enough for the big leagues, benches you, and tries to trade you (see Randolph, Anthony).

Subtitles for recordings played during Day 2 of the Blagojevich impeachment trial.

William Safire catches grammatical fire discussing the terms used by the media in censoring Illinois' favorite embattled governor.

Today we are going to deal with the media coverage of profanities, expletives, vulgarisms, obscenities, execrations, epithets and imprecations, nouns often lumped together by the Bluenose Generation as coarseness, crudeness, bawdiness, scatology or swearing. But roundheeled readers should stop smacking their lips and rubbing their hands because the deliberately shocking subject can be treated with decorum, in plain words, without the titillating examples of “dirty words.” (Titillating, from the Latintitillare, “to tickle,” is clean.) 

If you want to fulminate about such prissiness about prurience in print, feel free to rattle your jowls, blow your stack and otherwise express your outrage with the typographical device to which cartoonists have resorted for generations: !#*&%@%!!!

The need for today’s review is the coverage given to the participial modifier employed with great frequency and immortalized on recordings of telephone conversations made by the F.B.I. as its shocked — shocked! — agents eavesdropped on Rod Blagojevich, the Illinois governor. His favorite intensifier was reproduced in many newspapers and Internet sites with dashes as “----ing” or with asterisks as “****ing” and was substituted in broadcasts, telecasts and Netcasts as a word descriptive of the sound called bleep. The Wall Street Journal went almost all the way, using both the first letter and three dashes in the participle before “golden,” the word it modified.

Be sure to read on till the end -- some his best jabs are also his shortest.

[Image via BuzzFeed.]

Sitting across from C in a cafe today, she started laughing for no reason. I asked her what was so funny, and she said she was reading an article about the embattled governor's nomination of Obama's Senate replacement.

Sure sounds boring, right? Not if you read this as the Blagojevich would have spoken it in private,or as C read it to herself... with f-bombs galore! Try it yourself, it's lots of fun:

GOV. ROD BLAGOJEVICH (ILL.): The people of Illinois are entitled to have two United States senators represent them in Washington, D.C.

As governor, I am required to make this appointment. If I don't make this appointment, then the people of Illinois will be deprived of their appropriate voice and vote in the United States Senate.

Therefore, I am here to announce my intention to appoint an individual who has unquestioned integrity, extensive experience, and is a wise and distinguished senior statesman of Illinois. This man actually once was an opponent of mine for governor.

(LAUGHTER)

So I'm here today to announce that I am appointing Roland Burris as the next United States senator from the Illinois.

Roland Burris is no stranger to the people of our state. Between 1979 and 1992 he served the people of Illinois as the state's comptroller and the state's attorney general. He has had a long and distinguished career serving the people of Illinois. He will be a great United States senator.

And now I'd like to ask everyone to do one last thing. Please don't allow the allegations against me to taint this good and honest man.

Ladies and gentlemen, Roland Burris.

Still don't get how it's supposed to work? SNL has you covered.

[Image via Buzzfeed.]

Indicted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Life, as predicted by art.

Clay Davis, fictional, corrupt state Senator. Clay, Rod. Rod, Clay. Sheeeeeeeit.

My very favorite thing about The Wire is that the series, taken as a whole, is a five season, 60 hour meditation on America's broken systems and corrupted ideals.

The series is cynical and brutally honest, but its creators --  among them Ed Burns, George Pelecanos and David Simon -- are correct. If they have a weakness, it is that they may be a touch too cynical, though even then, they are not off the mark by much.

By "correct" I don't mean just that I agree with them. I mean that The Wire's creators have put out a testable hypothesis, which has been proven true by subsequent events. The Wire is not guesswork or arguing or opinion. The Wire is tested, verified, repeatable fact. Their argument is not faith, not option, not fiction -- The Wire is Truth.

Rationale and Theory

Since WWII, key systems in America have been developed and driven by one fundamental belief, first put into action by IBM, Robert McNamara, and Ayn Rand: decisions should be based on reasoned and objective analysis of statistics.

The problem with this philosophy is that the first half of the requirement -- reasoned and objective analysis -- takes enormous skill, effort, training and time. Meanwhile, producing only the second half of the requirement -- the statistics alone -- is easy to do and meaningless without further consideration (even though statistics have developed an aura of being, by default, professional, competent, objective and analytic).

Statistics can, without the proper oversight, be doctored, manipulated and changed. When the books are cooked, the result is more harm than good. Therefore, when the hard work of analysis is removed and the mindless collection of statistics is rewarded, the system breaks down. Worse, it backfires, rewarding the wrong actions and directly causing counter-productive results.

The Wire argues that Americans, ignoring the need for disiplined data collection and analysis, only go through the paces of superficially producing statistics that look good but really do nothing. Those who are ambitious quickly learn of this systemic flaw, this hole in our societal framework, and exploit available statistics to make themselves look productive, effecient and effective. When this happens, the systems become corrupted, it's goals defeated.

Those whom the system is meant to help are harmed or  forgotten. Those who have exploited and twisted the broken system would now be harmed by fixing it, so the people who have risen to the top have an interest in keeping the system broken. The status quo is maintained, good, honest, hard working people are pushed out, and eventually, predicts the creators of The Wire, the entire system collapses.

When numbers take the place of reasoned analysis instead of acting as its tool, society crumbles.

Predictions

(1) The Wire hypothesises that local police have been directed to fight a War on Drugs. This has taken the form of maintaining crime statistics that appear to show improvement at all costs, to the exclusion of solid, deliberate police work.

Expected result? The War on Drugs is a failure.

Relevant characters: Bunny Colvin, Lester Freamon, Jimmy McNulty

(2) The Wire hypothesizes that The Press, and newspapers in particular, have an interest in maintaining viewer/readership at the expense of in-depth investigation and reporting. The latter costs more and requires effort while lacking any guaranteed payoff. On the other hand, the former can be done by being willing to blur the boundaries between fact and fiction, by copying text from press releases, and by conceding to conditions set by those in power in order to get the latest scoop.

So one thieving politician trumps 22 dead bodies. Good to know. -- Cedric Daniels

Expected result? Questions won't be asked, important stories will be ignored, and newspapers, now unable to adjust to the Internet age and also no longer producing important, original content, will fold.

Relevant characters: Augustus Haynes, Scott Templeton, James Whiting

(3) The Wire hypothesis that without proper investigation from The Press, the police and the FBI, politicians and corporate executives will have an easy time using their authority in a corrupt manner. Unless there is egregious activity, these corrupt politicians will use their positions for their own personal gain, at the expense of those they are supposed to be representing.

Expected result? Dirty officials will profit enormously while their constituents suffer. A few may be caught, but most will escape relatively unscathed.

Relevant characters: Clay Davis, Maurice Levy, Andy Krawczyk, Terrence Fitzhugh, Rhonda Pearlman

(4) The Wire predicts that good, honest, disciplined people will not be allowed to attain the highest-ranking positions without allowing themselves to be corrupted. Too many people are cheating the system to let a pure Idealist run the show.

Expected results? If a person of honor were to reach the highest positions, they would be forced sandbagged by earlier boobytraps  and also forced to concede many of their ideals in order to stay in power.

Relevant characters: Clarence Royce, Tommy Carcetti, Ervin Burrell, Cedric Daniels

Proof

(1) As the show ended, the creators of The Wire called for a public uprising, in the form of jury nullification in all non-violent drug offenses, as the only feasible means for stopping the failed War On Drugs. More coca is being grown and produced in Colombia than before the War On Drugs began.

(2) Yesterday, the Tribune Company, owner of (among other concerns) The LA Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Baltimore Sun, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy (the Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field were excluded from the filing, so as to keep control of two key, profitable assets separate and available for sale).

At the same time, Jon Stewart is now the "journalist" most likely to ask the tough questions, and only bloggers are willing to fully investigate and not leave any stone unturned.

(3) Today, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D) was indicted on federal charges of corruption, for alleged fraud, bribery and racketeering. After a three-year investigation, the lynch pin of the case against the governor is the evidence collected from wire taps. This case is astounding (and oddly hilarious) -- even Clay Davis couldn't talk his way out of this one.

While Gov. Blagojevich may be the exception that proves the rule, plenty of executives have gotten away with robbing their constitutents blind in the last year. How did they exploit our market-based system? By finding ways to hide the true numbers, knowing that analysists wouldn't or couldn't put in the work needed to see what was happening until it was too late. Still, those in charge refuse to take blame.

(4) Obama is the person Daniels always dreamed of being. He made it through the Presidential election relatively unscathed. Still, upon taking office he will find himself hamstrung by bailouts, war and recession. Only time will tell if he can continue to be the champion for hope and change, to be the leader America needs him to be.

Conclusion

The Wire put out a hypothesis that has been proven by subsequent events. Numbers have replaced analysis in the U.S. We, as a society, have gotten intellectually lazy. Sure, it's not all of us, but it is enough of us to make a difference.

Fortunately, there is a groundswell against such sloth. We elected a man of discipline, principle and rigor to be President. The recession, painful as it may be, is forcing us to evaluate our day to day priorities. Hopefully, the lessons learned this year will not be quickly forgotten.

Though David Simon might laugh at my naiveté, I see a chance to improve. The Wire has documented what is broken. Now its up to us to get to work to fix it.