Jan/090
Burris' Shot Tossed Into The 12th Row
Burris and Kramer. Two men burned by their own desire.
An old high school friend (and fellow political junkie) posted on Facebook that he "couldn't believe the Senate really gave Roland Burris the Heisman (stiff arm, not the trophy)."
Senate officials this morning rejected Roland Burris's effort to be seated as the successor to President-elect Barack Obama, telling the former Illinois attorney general that he lacked the requisite approval of state officials to be sworn in with the rest of the class of 2008 in today's launch of the 111th Congress.
...
Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) and a bipartisan group of leaders have rejected Burris's appointment on the grounds that the criminal charges against Blagojevich, including one that he tried to sell the appointment in exchange for financial gain, make it impossible for him to pick a successor to Obama without tarnishing the decision.
The impression I got was that the party said -- in no uncertain terms -- that all Democrats were to cut the governor loose. We're talking a giant, neon Seinfeld-esque Kenny Rogers Roasters sign screaming STAY AWAY.
Still, Burris wanted the job, so took the shot while it was there... and got completely rejected. Swatted. Roofed. Denied.
That's what happens when you don't work within the team offense -- the boss says you're not professional enough for the big leagues, benches you, and tries to trade you (see Randolph, Anthony).
Jan/090
Bleeping Blagojevich
Subtitles for recordings played during Day 2 of the Blagojevich impeachment trial.
William Safire catches grammatical fire discussing the terms used by the media in censoring Illinois' favorite embattled governor.
Today we are going to deal with the media coverage of profanities, expletives, vulgarisms, obscenities, execrations, epithets and imprecations, nouns often lumped together by the Bluenose Generation as coarseness, crudeness, bawdiness, scatology or swearing. But roundheeled readers should stop smacking their lips and rubbing their hands because the deliberately shocking subject can be treated with decorum, in plain words, without the titillating examples of “dirty words.” (Titillating, from the Latintitillare, “to tickle,” is clean.)
If you want to fulminate about such prissiness about prurience in print, feel free to rattle your jowls, blow your stack and otherwise express your outrage with the typographical device to which cartoonists have resorted for generations: !#*&%@%!!!
The need for today’s review is the coverage given to the participial modifier employed with great frequency and immortalized on recordings of telephone conversations made by the F.B.I. as its shocked — shocked! — agents eavesdropped on Rod Blagojevich, the Illinois governor. His favorite intensifier was reproduced in many newspapers and Internet sites with dashes as “----ing” or with asterisks as “****ing” and was substituted in broadcasts, telecasts and Netcasts as a word descriptive of the sound called bleep. The Wall Street Journal went almost all the way, using both the first letter and three dashes in the participle before “golden,” the word it modified.
Be sure to read on till the end -- some his best jabs are also his shortest.
[Image via BuzzFeed.]
Dec/081
More Fun With Blagojevich
These are tough times in America, but the corruption scandal that is Rod Blagojevich is the gift that keeps on giving.
Sitting across from C in a cafe today, she started laughing for no reason. I asked her what was so funny, and she said she was reading an article about the embattled governor's nomination of Obama's Senate replacement.
Sure sounds boring, right? Not if you read this as the Blagojevich would have spoken it in private,or as C read it to herself... with f-bombs galore! Try it yourself, it's lots of fun:
GOV. ROD BLAGOJEVICH (ILL.): The people of Illinois are entitled to have two United States senators represent them in Washington, D.C.
As governor, I am required to make this appointment. If I don't make this appointment, then the people of Illinois will be deprived of their appropriate voice and vote in the United States Senate.
Therefore, I am here to announce my intention to appoint an individual who has unquestioned integrity, extensive experience, and is a wise and distinguished senior statesman of Illinois. This man actually once was an opponent of mine for governor.
(LAUGHTER)
So I'm here today to announce that I am appointing Roland Burris as the next United States senator from the Illinois.
Roland Burris is no stranger to the people of our state. Between 1979 and 1992 he served the people of Illinois as the state's comptroller and the state's attorney general. He has had a long and distinguished career serving the people of Illinois. He will be a great United States senator.
And now I'd like to ask everyone to do one last thing. Please don't allow the allegations against me to taint this good and honest man.
Ladies and gentlemen, Roland Burris.
Still don't get how it's supposed to work? SNL has you covered.
[Image via Buzzfeed.]
Dec/080
Chicago Is The New Baltimore
Indicted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Life, as predicted by art.
Clay Davis, fictional, corrupt state Senator. Clay, Rod. Rod, Clay. Sheeeeeeeit.
My very favorite thing about The Wire is that the series, taken as a whole, is a five season, 60 hour meditation on America's broken systems and corrupted ideals.
The series is cynical and brutally honest, but its creators -- among them Ed Burns, George Pelecanos and David Simon -- are correct. If they have a weakness, it is that they may be a touch too cynical, though even then, they are not off the mark by much.
By "correct" I don't mean just that I agree with them. I mean that The Wire's creators have put out a testable hypothesis, which has been proven true by subsequent events. The Wire is not guesswork or arguing or opinion. The Wire is tested, verified, repeatable fact. Their argument is not faith, not option, not fiction -- The Wire is Truth.
Rationale and Theory
Since WWII, key systems in America have been developed and driven by one fundamental belief, first put into action by IBM, Robert McNamara, and Ayn Rand: decisions should be based on reasoned and objective analysis of statistics.